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''iPHONE VS BLACKBERRY'' THE SHOOT-OUT AT MIDDAY!..
For modern men, the battle lines have been drawn. It's the trendy iPhone versus the business-like BlackBerry in the shoot-out at midday.
Frankly, in the wireless world of modern times, it is the American humorist Robert Benchley who comes to mind, for his famous wisdom: ''There are two types of people: those who divide the world into two types of people, and those who do not.'' And he was damn right:humanity is fat too multifarious and contradictory to be contained by some simple binary opposition. That be damned, however.
These days there are unquestionably two types of people:
Those with iPhones and those with BlackBerrys!
I say people: obviously I mean Students and I also mean everybody. Let me explain a little more. This is never to say that there are not women who own these devices - I've seen them - but unlike men, they cannot be defined by them. Woman who own iPhone just own an iPhone, and they you know, use it, to make phone calls an stuff. They will not plonk it demonstratively on the table every time they sit down with a friend, they will not show you every new application as soon as it comes in, breathless with wonder; they will not go into battle for it.
Why do men do that thing of taking their phones out and putting them next to the cutlery? It's not because they might at any moment get a call a text or an email. After all, should any of these things occur, all they have to do is to take the phone out of their pocket; so we are looking at a -what? two seconds delay before that can can be dealt with.
No: they do it because it's the closest thing we have now to the drawing of guns from holsters. The blokes with the iPhones -who think of themselves as arty, creative, trendy etc -will start showing off what it can do. They will play the guitar on it: they will demonstrate that they can photo of someone and make their face melt.
But the BlackBerry blokes will smile and shake their heads, fully knowing and feeling that the iPhoners are playing right into their hands. Because the point of owning a BlackBerry is that it says:
I am an adult; I am a businessman; I have put away childish things; I do not need distractions; I just need push-email. The more you show me what that Apple thing can do, the more you prove it's just a toy.
This would seem the most airtight of arguments. And then sometime back, I saw the battle lines being drawn right across the table -iPhoners on the left and the BlackBerry men on the right -we would just got tot the stage, when iPhoner called Tim picked up his and played the ocarina on it. Which, as you may know, you do by blowing into it.
And then demonstrated that you can bring up on the screen an image of the planet, and by poking that image wherever you fancy, you can hear someone else play playing their iPhone as an ocarina anywhere else in the world. We listened, as someone called Boondocks, somewhere in the Philippines, played what sounded like clanger channelling Pavarrotti.
I.ll come clean. I own neither. But I feel many times that I am an iPhone worshiper. In Jack Kirby's astonishing Fourth World C Comics saga, the good guys Orion, Lightray, Mister Miracle -all carry strapped to their arms, a Mother Box; small sentient mini-computers able to heal, transport matter, control time and help sort out supervillains. This essentially, is what I think an iPhone is. Or, will be, very soon. Which means that although all you BlackBerry types will be notified first, via push of the Email saying, ''Alien Zombies on jetskis taking over the world,'' the iPhoners will be out there fighting them with their phones.
Until the battery runs out. So, for about a day, maximum I guess.
Many thanks to !WOW!. Good Night & God Bless!
For modern men, the battle lines have been drawn. It's the trendy iPhone versus the business-like BlackBerry in the shoot-out at midday.
Frankly, in the wireless world of modern times, it is the American humorist Robert Benchley who comes to mind, for his famous wisdom: ''There are two types of people: those who divide the world into two types of people, and those who do not.'' And he was damn right:humanity is fat too multifarious and contradictory to be contained by some simple binary opposition. That be damned, however.
These days there are unquestionably two types of people:
Those with iPhones and those with BlackBerrys!
I say people: obviously I mean Students and I also mean everybody. Let me explain a little more. This is never to say that there are not women who own these devices - I've seen them - but unlike men, they cannot be defined by them. Woman who own iPhone just own an iPhone, and they you know, use it, to make phone calls an stuff. They will not plonk it demonstratively on the table every time they sit down with a friend, they will not show you every new application as soon as it comes in, breathless with wonder; they will not go into battle for it.
Why do men do that thing of taking their phones out and putting them next to the cutlery? It's not because they might at any moment get a call a text or an email. After all, should any of these things occur, all they have to do is to take the phone out of their pocket; so we are looking at a -what? two seconds delay before that can can be dealt with.
No: they do it because it's the closest thing we have now to the drawing of guns from holsters. The blokes with the iPhones -who think of themselves as arty, creative, trendy etc -will start showing off what it can do. They will play the guitar on it: they will demonstrate that they can photo of someone and make their face melt.
But the BlackBerry blokes will smile and shake their heads, fully knowing and feeling that the iPhoners are playing right into their hands. Because the point of owning a BlackBerry is that it says:
I am an adult; I am a businessman; I have put away childish things; I do not need distractions; I just need push-email. The more you show me what that Apple thing can do, the more you prove it's just a toy.
This would seem the most airtight of arguments. And then sometime back, I saw the battle lines being drawn right across the table -iPhoners on the left and the BlackBerry men on the right -we would just got tot the stage, when iPhoner called Tim picked up his and played the ocarina on it. Which, as you may know, you do by blowing into it.
And then demonstrated that you can bring up on the screen an image of the planet, and by poking that image wherever you fancy, you can hear someone else play playing their iPhone as an ocarina anywhere else in the world. We listened, as someone called Boondocks, somewhere in the Philippines, played what sounded like clanger channelling Pavarrotti.
I.ll come clean. I own neither. But I feel many times that I am an iPhone worshiper. In Jack Kirby's astonishing Fourth World C Comics saga, the good guys Orion, Lightray, Mister Miracle -all carry strapped to their arms, a Mother Box; small sentient mini-computers able to heal, transport matter, control time and help sort out supervillains. This essentially, is what I think an iPhone is. Or, will be, very soon. Which means that although all you BlackBerry types will be notified first, via push of the Email saying, ''Alien Zombies on jetskis taking over the world,'' the iPhoners will be out there fighting them with their phones.
Until the battery runs out. So, for about a day, maximum I guess.
Many thanks to !WOW!. Good Night & God Bless!
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