Headline, September07, 2013

''' !!! ADOLF HITLER'S FARM !!! '''

The dollhouse was huge and unwieldy. It gobbled up Hitler. It gobbled up Stalin. It gobbled up Mussolini. It gobbled up Tojo. It even gobbled up Goring and he was fat.

Ray and I spent next few hours staring: staring at each other, staring at the dollhouse, staring at each other, staring at Hitler, staring at each other, staring at Stalin, staring at each other, staring at Mussolini, staring at each other, staring at Tojo, staring at each other, staring at Goring, staring at each other  -staring and staring and taking exactly zero photographs.

Then I put Mussolini on a  Tricycle. And I had Mussolini's Tricycle.

Then I put Hitler on a bunk bed. And I had Hitler's Bunk Bed.

Then I put Stalin on a stroller. And I had Stalin's Stroller.

Stalin's Stroller was followed by Hitler's Bunny, Tojo's Kitty, Stalin's Puppy, Hitler's Vacuum, Goring's Lunch, Mussolini's Ironing Board, Mussolini's Laundry, Tojo's Toy Box, Stalin's Balcony, Mussolini's Balcony, Franco's Balcony, Hitler's Mirror, Hitler's House, Hitler's Sofa, The Hitlermobile,and,and,and,and,and and.

We spent the whole afternoon and evening putting Hitler here, Mussolini there, Stalin on this, Tojo on that.

Then we spent three more afternoons and evenings refining our Hitlers and Mussolini until we had more than enough Hitlers and Mussolinis.

July 15, 2004: It is the fourth anniversary of Marianne James's death. Marianne James is my mom's mom. She died of leukemia.

In addition to knowing a good photographer, I also know good studio artists, good retouchers, and good printers. In other words, I know people who could make me look I knew what I was doing, and they did.

I also know Steven Josefsberg. Steven is the patron saint of fine photography in Portland, Oregon. He had a beautiful art gallery and brought some of the biggest names in photography to Portland. He has impeccable tast. He told me he would hang my Hitler art in his gallery even if he was Jewish. {He is Jewish.) He told me I had ''done good''.

Then he told me he was closing his gallery. Although I was new to the artist thing, I knew enough to know that a closed gallery wasn't the best place to display an artist's wares.

Steven kept telling me things. He told me against his better Jewish judgement, that he would show my Hitlers, Mussolinis and Stalins to various Portland art dealers who might wither have the guts or the sufficient lack of taste required to display them.

Bob Kochs from the Augen Gallery was that Portland art dealer. A professorial bundle of knowledge and poorly tied ties. Bob brings the bigger names of the art world  -Warhol, Lichtenstein, Ruscha, et al - and their bigger price tags to Portland.

Steven showed Bob my Hitlers, my Stalins, my Tojos, my et als. Bob laughed. Bob said some nice things. Then Bob looked at them again. Then Bob Laughed again. Then Bob said some more nice things.

Then Bob said,''Somebody has got to show this, but..................''

Then Bob looked at them again. Then bob laughed again. Then Bob said some more nice things.

Then Bob said,'' To hell with it. I'll show it.''

That was the moment Hitler saved my Life. The redemptive power of art! The redemptive power of selling art! But please don't get me wrong; it's still a damn hassle not to die. But at least now it's a worthwhile hassle.

August 18, 2004: Casie Snow, former high school, cheerleader, nineteen, dies of leukemia.

For Better Art Or Worse, my mother and her relentless optimism are behind all this. Thank you, Mom. However, cheery optimism aside, my mother is easily confused. Yes, Mom, you are. She did not understand it; she especially did not understand it when I told her the show was going to be called Goring's lunch.

She, of course, asked the question ''Son, what does all this Hitler stuff mean?''

If I were an intellectual heavyweight of an art critic  -ha ha ha ha- I might say something profound like, ''The dictatorship enjoys his monuments, his pageantry, and his spectacle; that's why he's a dictator. Healthy doses of hubris, charisma, paranoia, ruthlessness, vanity, and immorality also come in handy. The oversized monument, choreographed pageantry, and grand spectacle inflate the importance of the dictator.

On the other hand, a toy-  defined as an object , often a small representation of something familiar, as an animal, object, person, et cetra, for children to play with  -deflates its subject with its very smallness. Instead of providing  -as monuments, pageantry, and spectacle do -grand expositions mythologizing the dictator, toys, by definition, make their subjects seem small, childish, and trifling.''

If I were an aggressive and confrontational artist, like a Lou Reed with a camera, I might say something like, ''Do a Hitler Toy Figures search on Google and you will find 91,800 Hitler toy figures. Do a Stalin Toy Figures search on Google and you will find 27,500 Stalin Toy Figures. Do a Mussolini Toy Figures search on Google and you will find 14,800 Mussolini Toy Figures. Do a Goring Toy Figures search on Google and you will find 4,420 Goring Toy figures. Do a Heydrich Toy Figures search on Google and you will find 529 Heydrich Toy Figures.

You, You, Go ahead and figure it out.''

But since I want to be Warhol, I am forced to say something infuriatingly vague and glib like, ''I could have called the show Hubris Revisited, but Goring's Lunch is much catchier.''

Damn. A month before the opening of Goring's Lunch, I got pneumonia again. I ended up in the hospital for a few days. ''There's nothing to w-o-r-r-y about,'' said my famous Jewish Oncologist, Brian Druker. ''I'll have you healthy enough to be lynched at your opening.''

December 28, 2004; Social critic Susan Sontag dies of Leukemia.

January 28, 2005: Hitler invades Portland. 9.00 A.M I woke up to take it easy today. I will fail.

This outstanding post continues. See ya all on the morrow as we face up to the dictators! 

Have a great Weekend The World Over!!

!Hahaha!

With respectful dedication to the Students, Professors and Teachers of Taiwan. See Ya all on the World Students Society Computers-Internet-Wireless : ''Make A Statement''

Good Night & God Bless!

SAM Daily Times - the Voice of the Voiceless