Headline Dec 03, 2015/ "' GLASS BY GOOGLE "'

"' GLASS BY GOOGLE "'

YOU'VE HEARD A LOT about it. You've read a lot about it. But this what Google Glass is really like......so read on.

After a half-hour break, I try again. I find another version of Moby Dick that fits on the screen. I start to read. 

It's both strange and wonderful. The words float against the sky. The text is so close to my eyes, the book feels like it is inside my brain. I'm in my own secret world, like the kid with the flashlight under the blanket, but without the flashlight or blanket. 

I've never read  Moby Dick, and the details seem to visceral up close. Queequeg harpooning the breakfast beefsteaks from across the table, or draping his tattooed arm over Ishmael during forced spooning. And who knew Melville was such a cranky bum, an early Luis C.K. with his urge to step into the street and start ''methodically knocking people's hats off''?

After forty-five minutes, I get an ice-pick headache and have to stop. I later tell some tech-loathingbook-worldfriends, who react with horror  -as if reading on an iPad weren't bad enough. In their honour, I read a long article on my Glass called ''35 Arguments Against Google Glass,'' which gives me an ironic thrill.

Literature verdict: briefly fantastic. Use caution.

Operation: Texas Hold'Em

One of Glass's most impressive feature is that it can live-stream video from your point of view. Anyone can see the world through your eyes. If you are at the grocery store facing a baffling array of tomato sauces, just video-call your wife.

On her Laptop she can scan the shelf and tell you to get the seven-herb Robusto. Very useful.

Also useful? Invite some friends over for poker and have your cousin who's a professional poker player in Vegas secretly observe your cards from his Laptop and signal to you how to bet.

I have such a cousin. He agreed to the plan, I'd be his poker body, he'd be my poker brain. Together we'd create The Sting 2.0.

My cousin and I spend the day practising our scheme. On his computer he can see my cards. On my walnut-sized screen, I can see a teensy version of him holding up handwritten signs, Like FOLD. Or RAISE TEN DOLLARS. Or CALL.

I keep my cousin on mute for two reasons: First, I don't want my fellow cardplayers to hear him. And second he's a kind of cocky bum.

At 8.00 P.M. on a Thursday, my three unsuspecting friends come to my apartment. They know I'm testing Glass, but I tell them it's only for e-mail. "Are you going to look up whether a straight beats a flush?" my friend Carl  jokes. "Ha, ha," I chuckle."No, nothing like that." ]Though it's true I barely know the rules].

I deal. I lift my hand to show my cousin my jack and six. And...............the video goes black. I tap the side of my of my frames furiously to reconnect. We finally do, but ten seconds later, his images freeze midscribble. Dammit!

I'm stranded. This is awful. After losing a bunch of hands, I excuse myself to go the bathroom and call my cousin on my cell. We whisper-argue over who is to blame for the technical snafu.

Back at the table, we get the live stream running again. And he holds up the FOLD sign three hands in a row. Ugh. This isn't working.

And then, on an ace-ten, he has me bet ten dollars, then raise fifteen. It's much more aggressive than my usual "I guess I'll call strategy. We win! I get a head rush.

Another hand, he writes. LET'S BLUFF. BET TWENTY DOLLARS. My friend fold. Another pot! My cousin writes, NOW SHOW YOUR CARDS AND LAUGH. Too late. I've already tossed my cards into the mix. "Wait!"  I say. I try to reach back into the pile.My friends give me a puzzled look.

It's  thrilling, this freedom from choice, the comfort of knowing that I'm playing lake a master. Granted, it's far from a flawless plan. At times, my cousin can't see my hand, even though I shove my nose right up to the cards.

The video is spotty and slow {it's a prototype, after all},so I spend a lot of time stalling. "Hmmm. Let me think." And, as I mentioned my cousin has an attitude. CLEAN UP YOUR  STACK!! he writes on his whiteboard, his sharpie cap dangling from his mouth.I stack. He shakes his head. MORE VERTICAL!

At one point, my nine-year old son joins the game. He gets a good hand, but my cousin senses mine is better and tells me to raise my son forty dollars, the kid's life savings. I can't do it. My cousin writes, PUSSY.

But overall the plan works surprising well. After two hours, I've tripled my money to $200, at which point I confess my sin to my friends and give them back the money.

They seem more baffled than angry. "So what are you seeing? He's in that little thing? The nest day, one friend e-mails to thank me for the night, adding, "despite the fact that I woke up with a somewhat violated feeling that I can't seem to shake."

Poker verdict : delightful. Dangerous. 

Operation : Dictation

Three weeks in, class  [correction : Glass] and I are getting along better. There are still plenty of annoyances, like accidently tweeting a photo of the Chipotle counter.

But I love taking video of my sons without them getting me and I'm rolling "Oh, Dad."  [Correction : without them giving me an eye-rolling  "Oh, Dad."] I've successfully Googled the  "XYZ affair," flak steak against the grain," and "burrata cheese."

I am also getting the hang of the voice-recognition feature. I find Glass prefers in order to perform  [correction:  Glass prefers more chipper voice], like I'm a tour guide at Universal theme park. Not my favourite own [correction:tone], but I adjust.

In fact, I have dictated this entire section of the article. Perhaps most impressive: Glass is no prude. It understands and spell out every horrible, naughty word I can think of.

Dictation verdict : Lawless [correction:flawless].

The Honour and Serving of the  "Technology Operational Research" continues. Thank you for reading and see Ya all on the following one.

With respectful dedication to the Students, Professors and teachers of the world. See Ya all on !WOW!  -the World Students Society:

"' First Act "'

Good Night and God Bless

SAM Daily Times - the Voice of the Voiceless