THE ETHICIST TAP : VOTING & DEMOCRACY

 

MY 20-year-old grandson voted for Trump, despite my attempts to help understand the threat to democracy.

[ While I expressed my concerns, I respected his right to vote for the candidate of his choice and was proud that he voted in his first election.] My husband shared this information with his adult children - ours is a blended family - without getting my grandson's consent or consulting me.

His family, like us, aren't Trump supporters. I'm struggling with this breach of privacy and disrespect for our marriage - [ NAME WITHHELD ]

HAVING A SECRET ballot protects us from employers and other people with power over us, who might otherwise subject us to pressure or penalties.

That's why John Stuart Mill was wrong to oppose it. Still, he had a point to make : that every voter should consider the public good, and act as if under public scrutiny.

I agree that your husband should have considered the possibility that your grandson believed that he was speaking to you in confidence. Still, you don't indicate that your husband had a reason to think this was the case.

And there's something to be said for the ideal of citizens who are willing to talk with one another about the issues and their views.

One thing that you may discover when you spend time with people of the other party is that your stereotypes of them are mistaken. The political-science literature makes it plain that Republicans and Democrats have a wide range of views on many policy questions. 

You presumably fear that your grandson will face hostility from the rest of the family. [ You don't seem to fear that they will face hostility from him.] 

Losing the respect of family members is an affliction. But the right response is for him to explain to them why he thought his choice was the best one for the country. Reasonable people can come to respect other people's choices even while disagreeing with them.

You apparently believe that your stepchildren, having learned of your grandson's vote, won't be capable of being civil to him. I hope they will surprise you.

If we can't manage political civility in our families, how are we going to manage it in the republic that we, the people, share?

The World Students Society thanks Kwame Anthony Appiah who teaches philosophy at N.Y.U. His books include '' Cosmopolitanism '' and '' The Lies That Bind : Rethinking Identity.''